Outright Ingrate

Oh ffs, I've come back here with a dustpan and brush and it appears I need a flame thrower and an industrial vacuum. The whole Google Reader thing needs a total overhaul, I've completely forgotten how to log into my StatCounter account, my blog roll is covered in cobwebs (as is yours if this blog is on it) and the irony is that I've come back here without even have the first idea of what to say to anyone.

Is anyone even still out there?

And if so, what's up? How are you? Tell me a story...